Coffee and Caffeine Quotes

By Tommy Pettersson

Millions of people around the world look forward to a cup of coffee whether at home, whilst on the move or at work. The aroma, taste and the sense of feeling "refreshed" after a cup of coffee brings pleasure to many of us, as we go about our daily lives.

Here is a collection of coffee and caffeine related quotes for your amusement and understanding of coffee.


"No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness."
~ Sheik Abd-al-Kadir

"Black as the devil, Hot as hell,
Pure as an angel, Sweet as love."
~ Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord

"Coffee has two virtues: it is wet and warm."
~ Dutch Proverb

"I don't know how people live without coffee, I really don't."
~ Martha Quinn

"I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge."
~ Jennifer Lopez

"I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee."
~ Burt Lancaster

"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons."
~ T. S. Eliot

"I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee."
~ Flash Rosenberg

"Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever."
~ David Letterman

"Do I like my coffee black? There are other colors?"
~ Author Unknown

"Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical."
~ Jonathan Swift

"I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee."
~ Carly Simon

"Coffee: The first peripheral!"
~ Author Unknown

"Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have another coffee."
~ Author Unknown

"Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee."
~ Stephanie Piro

"Man does not live by coffee alone. Have a danish."
~ Author Unknown

"He was my cream, and I was his coffee - and when you poured us together, it was something."
~ Josephine Baker

"This coffee falls into your stomach, and straightway there is a general commotion. Ideas begin to move like the battalions of the Grand Army of the battlefield, and the battle takes place. Things remembered arrive at full gallop, ensuing to the wind. The light cavalry of comparisons deliver a magnificent deploying charge, the artillery of logic hurry up with their train and ammunition, the shafts of with start up like sharpshooters. Similes arise, the paper is covered with ink; for the struggle commences and is concluded with torrents of black water, just as a battle with powder."
~ Honore de Balzac, "The Pleasures and Pains of Coffee"

"Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised."
~ Star Trek: Voyager

"Remember, even if you don't love coffee, coffee loves you."
~ Alex Gottschalk

"Deja Brew: The feeling that you've had this coffee before."
~ Author Unknown

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat."
~ Alex Levine

"The discovery of coffee has enlarged the realm of illusion and given more promise to hope."
~ Isidore Bourdon

"Coffee, according to the women of Denmark, is to the body what the Word of the Lord is to the soul."
~ Isak Dinesen

"Given enough coffee, I could rule the world."
~ Author Unknown

"Coffee, which makes the politicians wise, and see through all things with his half-shut eyes."
~ Alexander Pope

"If you want to improve your understanding, drink coffee; it is the intelligent beverage."
~ Sydney Smith

"There are three intolerable things in life - cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women."
~ Orson Welles

"I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless."
~ Napoleon Bonaparte

"If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning."
~ Mae West

"Petroleum and coffee had no value a few centuries ago."
~ Author Unknown

"Coffee, which makes the politicians wise,
And see through all things with his half-shut eyes."
~ Alexander Pope

"A fig for partridges and quails,
ye dainties I know nothing of ye;
But on the highest mount in Wales
Would choose in peace to drink my coffee."
~ Jonathan Swift

"Over second and third cups flow matters of high finance, high state, common gossip and low comedy. [Coffee] is a social binder, a warmer of tongues, a soberer of minds, a stimulant of wit, a foiler of sleep if you want it so. From roadside mugs to the classic demi-tasse, it is the perfect democrat."
~ Author Unknown

Coffee Aroma

"Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven."
~ Jessi Lane Adams

"Ah, that is a perfume in which I delight; when they roast coffee near my house, I hasten to open the door to take in all the aroma."
~ Jean Jacques Rousseau

"I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume."
~ John Van Druten

"Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it's hard to go back to sleep."
~ Fran Drescher

"I could smell myself awake with that coffee."
~ Jaesse Tyler

"No coffee can be good in the mouth that does not first send a sweet offering of odor to the nostrils."
~ Henry Ward Beecher

Strong Coffee

"I like my coffee like my women: hot, strong, steamy."
~ Author Unknown

"My blood type is Pueblos Nativos."
~ Tommy Pettersson

"I make serious coffee - so strong it wakes up the neighbors."
~ Author Unknown

"I like my coffee strong, not lethal!"
~ M*A*S*H

"Black coffee must be strong and very hot; if strong coffee does not agree with you, do not drink black coffee. And if you do not drink black coffee, do not drink any coffee at all."
~ Andre Simon

"All the coffee in Columbia won't make me a morning person."
~ Author Unknown

"Strong coffee, and plenty, awakens me. It gives me warmth, an unusual force, a pain that is not without pleasure. I would rather suffer than be senseless."
~ Napoleon Bonaparte

"The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself."
~ Mark Helprin, "Memoir from Antproof Case,"1995

That Magic Cup

"A morning without coffee is like sleep."
~ Author Unknown

"Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with."
~ Terri Guillemets

"Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning."
~ Author Unknown

"Actually, this seems to be the basic need of the human heart in nearly every great crisis - a good hot cup of coffee."
~ Alexander King

"I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon."
~ Ronald Reagan

"If I ruled the world, everyone could have a free cup of Pueblos Nativos coffee after dinner."
~ Tommy Pettersson

"Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee."
~ Author Unknown

"I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee."
~ Harry Mahtar

"Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries."
~ Bill Cosby

"It is surely easier to confess a murder over a cup of coffee than in front of a jury."
~ Friedrich Durrenmatt

"The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce."
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. "Over the Teacups," 1891


"Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister."
~ Bob Irwin

"Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after."
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"In Seattle you haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running."
~ Jeff Bezos

"Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation."
~ Author Unknown

"Caffeine isn't a drug, it's a vitamin!"
~ Author Unknown

"Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank."
~ Alphonse Allais

"I don't have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!"
~ Author Unknown

"Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
~ Author Unknown

"Decaf? No, it's dangerous to dilute my caffeine stream."
~ Author Unknown

"If it ain't caffeinated, it ain't coffee!"
~ Author Unknown

"I bought a decaffeinated coffee table, you can't even see a difference."
~ Author Unknown

Coffee Break

"Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break."
~ Earl Wilson

"Compared to Clinton, I feel like a loser. I can't even get the intern to make me coffee!"
~ David Letterman

"Retirement is one great big giant coffee break."
~ Author Unknown

"As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold."
~ Author Unknown

"Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?"
~ Steven Wright

Coffee Automation

"Ultimate office automation - networked coffee machines."
~ Author Unknown

"COFFEE.SYS Not Found: User startup disabled."
~ Author Unknown

"C:\COFFEE.POT missing (A)bort (R)etry (F)all asleep?"
~ Author Unknown

"C:>COFFEE.COM error. Contact programmer J. Valdez."
~ Author Unknown

"RISING.SUN detected: (A)nother coffee, (C)old shower, (S)leep?"
~ Author Unknown

"Caffeine Allocation Error: COFFEE.SYS missing, Programmer halted."
~ Author Unknown

"if( {programmer->;brain=OFF};"
~ Author Unknown

"Docs? Oh, you mean the stuff you wipe up coffee with?"
~ Author Unknown

And All the Rest

"Coffee in England is just toasted milk."
~ Christopher Fry

"English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve."
~ Fred Allen

"Is it possible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? What happened with coffee? Did I miss a meeting? They have every other flavor but coffee-flavored coffee. They have mochaccino, frappaccino, cappuccino, al pacino…Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup."
~ Denis Leary

"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time."
~ Steven Wright

"Don't laugh at the coffee. Some day you, too, may be old and weak."
~ Author Unknown

"I see the same coffee table everywhere. It's mass marketing."
~ Douglas Wilson

"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."
~ Paul Erdos

"This coffee tastes like mud! Well, it was ground this morning."
~ Author Unknown

"I like cappuccino, actually. But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all."
~ David Lynch

"Be a coffee-drinking individual - espresso yourself!"
~ Author Unknown

"Don't drink coffee in the morning. It will keep you awake until noon."
~ Author Unknown

"I'd stop drinking coffee, but I'm no quitter."
~ Author Unknown

"Americans are making coffee a bigger part of their lives, expanding attitudes and behaviors that are driving new levels of consumption."
~ Robert Nelson

"Coffee in styrofoam is against my religion."
~ Betsy Cañas Garmon

"I've just arrived in New York City. What a place! Just smell those skyscrapers. Had breakfast at a little deli on Ninth Avenue. Cheese Danish and a cup of coffee, black as a moonless night. Hit the spot."
~ From the television show Twin Peaks by David Lynch

"A certain Liquor which they call Coffee, which will soon intoxicate the brain."
~ G. W. Parry

"You know you've been playing too much Nethack when you refer to coffee as a potion of sleep resistance."
~ Sweeney Todd Lundgren

"In America you can buy bucket-sized cups of coffee in any flavour you like other than coffee-flavour."
~ Author Unknown

"Coffee, n. break fluid."
~ Author Unknown

"Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water."
~ The Women's Petition Against Coffee, 1674

"Conscience keeps more people awake than coffee."
~ Author Unknown

"Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'"
~ Conan O'Brien

"It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. I bet this kind of thing does not happen to heroin addicts. I bet that when serious heroin addicts go to purchase their heroin, they do not tolerate waiting in line while some dilettante in front of them orders a hazelnut smack-a-cino with cinnamon sprinkles."
~ Dave Barry

Tommy Pettersson
Article by Tommy Pettersson
Tommy Pettersson is a well known internet developer and the founder of Fair Trade Community. Fair Trade Community is a community where people can get facts and information, meet and discuss how they can help to improve the lives of some of the poorest people in the world. Learn more at Fair Trade Community.

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